imagine if everything were as it seemed to be. but, could it ever be as it "seems"? as it seems, seems really, a matter of perspective. and, what is perspective?
perspective...it is as something relates to the eye. but whose eye? the beholder's, of course.
the eye of the beholder, or the things that we behold, can only be processed in our minds through our own perspective. through our own experience. that experience is filtered through the past, present and future within seconds, and blah, out comes your reaction.
expectations are personal set ups. set ups for disaster. as hard as i try, expectations are one of the hardest things for me to shake. this trip is proving a good ground for testing my expectations. or, the obliteration of them, at least. its working. i dunno how, but it is. mindfulness is serving as the best medicine.
so what is the best medicine for letting go? how do you really "let go" of people, or things, that you love? when you are somebody that has spent their whole life "letting go" of people that they love, it proves almost debilitating. letting go, always feels like some kind of joke...it almost feels funny. in one respect, you are supposed to be letting go of everything that you feel is good, but on the other hand you are just trying to maintain some kind of peace. it feels like the ultimate FUCK YOU, delivered by the back hand of life...but i guess this too, is a matter of perspective. or maybe not perspective, as much as a process in itself that requires perspective.
san cristobal, has proved to be an exact replica of what i wold think a "home away from home", would be. when we found out that we would not be able to make it into cuba, this was most definately the place to land. none of this trip was a coincidence, its just a matter of processing and developing my perspective. sitting in my own head, without distractions, is bearing more fruit than i know what to do with. i feel like i have a basket full of delicious apples that need to be eaten before they rot, but my tummy is full...
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pauxpaux,
ReplyDeleteYour thoughts are appreciated on these points. There is a fine line, as we walk this earth, where the power of knowing your life becomes an expectation in itself, one that you are better to let go of than to try and control. A very present focal point for me has been an examination of the ebb and flow of self-imposed expectations, letting go of the ego's disappointment, and the use of communication to mediate the two. There is always spiritual work to be done.
If there is a medicine for the loss and the lets of expectations and this self-involved, self-defined, and self-propelled world, it is within our own eyes to behold. It is also within our own hearts to understand.
Some applicable advice i have received has been to imagine sitting at the edge of a still pool of water and silently projecting Joy with enough gravity to ripple the still water around you. does it help? conduct your own hypothesis.
ps. you do have an over-flowing basket of delicious. thankyou for sharing. keep it coming. ~N